Long Distance Relationships
With my brother’s girlfriend Carmel leaving yesterday, my long-distance girlfriend Maria decided to blog a little bit about long-distance relationships (among other things). So I decided to link over to it. Please read what she has to say, and then what I say will make more sense.
Long-distance relationships are becoming more and more common. When you add together traveling for work, meeting on the Internet, and choosing colleges, many people find themselves in long-distance relationships. However, after awhile, these relationships can deteriorate for a number of reasons. Sometimes it is just that, like many short-distance relationships, the couple just didn’t get along. However, I suspect that a lot of the time the distance just wrecks havoc on the relationship, even if it is positive. Maria and I (and Carmel and Jonathan) have decided that we are not going to let this happen.
I of course agree with what Maria says on her blog. My relationship with Maria is definitely worth the distance, and I tell everyone that who asks. Even if Maria lived on an island only reachable by 30 hours of boat travel, it would be worth it. How we would have met under those conditions I don’t know, but you get my point! That does not mean the circumstances surrounding our relationship are always easy. Sometimes the distance can be downright difficult. Maria offers the following tips:
1. Have and See your friends and family
2. Keep busy
3. Accept the suffering as proof of something genuine
4. Pray
5. Communicate
Even these can all be difficult to implement. Due to work and family constraints, many people find it harder and harder to see friends after college. Accepting suffering is never easy, and after awhile we can finally just throw up our hands! And we all know how difficult communication can be, even in a short-distance relationship.
However, as a Christian, I believe that everything mentioned above can help strengthen every relationship in the long-term, whether it is a short-distance or long-distance relationship.
Making an effort to see your family and friends, even when all of them seem just as busy as you are, is a good thing, and can help you foster and maybe even repair past relationships! Keeping busy can be a good or bad thing from a moral standpoint, but if you keep busy with good things, then you are not only benefiting you and your boy/girl-friend, but helping others. Accepting the sacrifice of being apart helps a relationship as well. Couples who have to accept sacrifices will be more ready to deal with the sacrifices of marriage, and will appreciate each other that much more. Plus, if you are suffering because you are apart from someone, it really speaks volumes as to how you feel about them. Many couples these days seem to (even if not in words, but in actions) have an "I can take him/her or leave him/her" approach to a relationship, and probably wouldn’t suffer a minute if apart.
Finally we have prayer and communication. Praying is an obvious relationship strengthener for Christians. Relying on God through constant prayer is
not only the best way to approach an issue, but when both people in a
relationship pray, the foundation of the relationship is the strongest one available: prayer. Maria and I have had to make prayer the foundation of our relationship. We have had no other choice, and we are much better off for it. Had we not had the distance between us, it is hard to tell if we would have prayed as much. And at last, we have communication. Long-distance relationships require communication, in greater quality and quantity than short-distance ones, simply because of the nature of the relationship. When you are apart physically you have to rely on communication. You have no choice but to get to know the other person in a non-physical way. While I certainly believe you have to get to know a person physically, most couples have this (and sometimes too much of it!) down pat but have some trouble on the communication end. It is getting more common to hear nowadays, "We don’t get along and have nothing in common, but he/she is so hot, I can’t leave," or something similar.
I do not always deal with my long-distance relationship in the best way, and neither does Maria, Carmel, or Jonathan. This is not to put any of us down, but to simply acknowledge the truth that exists in all relationships. However, these times can be times of growth and moving closer through increased honesty and communication. Long-distance relationships can be tough, but if you have found that special someone, they are definitely worth it. I hope this helps those in and/or beginning long-distance relationships.
Addendum: As a believer in health and nutrition, I also think exercise and good eating habits can play a role in the emotional health of ANY relationship. Exercise, certain vitamins, minerals, fats, amino acids, and herbs have been shown to positively affect emotional health and even alleviate cases of mild depression. Plus, it doesn’t hurt either person to take care of him/herself
